From the by M.D. Fletcher |
September 2009 |
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I got a new phone the other day. I don't know how to use it. It came with a little book that, I suppose, would tell me all about how to work it, but I can't read it. The book is too small. I'd have to get a very small little person to read it to me. Like my grandson, maybe. But then he'd discover his Grandpa is an idiot. And I'd really prefer to keep that fact from him as long as possible. My wife's really smart. Plus, she already knows I'm and idiot, so I've got that going for me. But she's also really busy and given my snail-like progression of a learning curve, I'm really hesitant to tax both her time and patience in the effort. I already spend a lot of time tripping over her last raw nerve, so I've got to be careful there not to press my luck. There are a log of really smart people here at Columbus Electric too, each and every one of them way smarter than I am. In fact, that's why I hired them. That's a management strategy I've used all my life and it comes from my Father, who was also way smarter than me and knew me better than anyone ever has or anyone ever will. Way back when I was growing up and figuring at the time I was a pretty smart cookie, he took me aside one day and informed me, in no uncertain terms, that I wasn't all that darn smart. Now, Dad never lied to me, so naturally it kind of hurt my feelings. Then he went on to say that if I was ever going to make it through this life, I had to surround myself with people smarter than I am. fortunately, I was just smart enough to take that to heart. It was the best advice he ever gave me. So anyway, I could probably get someone here to help me but then again, they all have very demanding jobs, you know, what with a stupid manager and all, and I'd hate to impose or break their rhythm. They're all really good to me anyway and I'm grateful every day for their patience and apparent willingness to accept my shortcomings. But I figure if I come bumbling out to one of them about my pathetic inability to use a simple cell phone, they may just snap. Again, I don't want to press my luck. |
really miss the old telephones. Back then to get a new telephone, you had to wait about two or three weeks for a highly trained technician to arrive at your door and perform a feat of technological magic that involved something about the pole out side and connecting three wires in the proper sequence. Then you had a telephone, a great big black telephone that weighed about eight pounds and had a rotary dial where you'd put your finger in the hole where the number was and turn it clockwise and then repeat the process until you "dialed" the whole seven-digit number. If you dialed the "0" hole, a nice, obviously attractive lady would answer and help you if you needed it. I miss her, too. Of course, I can't work my new cell phone but here at the office, I've got a phone on my desk that I know how to answer and dial out on and hang up and so forth. It's part of our communications network here at Headquarters and involves complex circuitry and highly sensitive microelectronics. The one on my desk is a beauty. It has 64 buttons on it. I'm not sure what they're all for. I've also got a computer. It's linked to our network. They tell me this computer can work miracles, solve complex problems, give you answers to unanswerable questions, connect you to the world, heighten your awareness and enlighten your intellect. A large part of the electrical utility business is involved in the highly sophisticated use of digital technology and in the future this technology will evolve in ways and fashions that we cannot even imagine today. So far, I've figured out how to play solitaire. But that's okie-dokey. One thing us folks with limited cerebral range possess is stubbornness. I've got this here new cell phone and I'm going to carry it around and keep fooling with it and wait for an epiphany of some sort. I figure one fine day the blasted thing will go off' and I'll hit the right button and I'll be actually talking on my new cell phone. What a glorious day that will be and I will be so proud of myself. Of course, I won't know how to hang up, but one thing at a time, I always say. Baby steps, baby steps. |
