From the by M.D. Fletcher |
January 2009 |
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Well, the holidays are over, dear gentle reader, the eco-friendly fake tree has been de-trimmed, the Homer Simpson Santa has been deflated, the eggnog is now a permanent feature of your prized living room rug, the cat is coughing up something that looks like tinsel, your crazy Aunt Tilley is finally back in rehab, your Macho-Max Hummer has been repossessed, what's left of your 401(k) has gone to pay the paperboy and your new 52� flat screen is soon to be worthless because you can't figure out what the heck the switch to DTV has got to do with your rabbit ears. Welcome to 2009. One thing this New Year brings is change. No, not small change like what you've got left over each month, but Big Change, like a brand new Administration in Washington. The fellow who campaigned on a platform for change got what he asked for and now has the sobering task of somehow delivering the goods. There's a big difference between a candidate and an incumbent. For example, a candidate's demeanor always reflects confidence and optimism. An incumbent's demeanor often reflects stark terror. As well it should. The job of President of the United States has a few perks attached here and there, like traveling in Air Force One and thereby avoiding having to strip down at airports (unless you're Bill Clinton and want to) but other than that, it pretty much bites the big one. Think about it. First of all, the job doesn't pay worth a darn. The guy who drives the limo for the CEO of AIG makes more than the President, and that's just in tips. If you want to make the big bucks, you don't even want think about the Presidency; heck no, you go for the top job at General Motors. Second, about three days into your Presidency, nobody likes you. Hollywood's already turned against the guy because he refuses to make gay marriage not only legal, but mandatory. San Francisco burned the guy in effigy even before he was sworn in. |
Third, you've got the Secret Service crawling all over you, day in, day out, and although they mean well, they can be a real bother. Now in the old days, things were a little different with the Secret Service. John Kennedy found them particularly helpful in getting Marilyn Monroe in and out of the White House (right under the nose of Jackie, no less), and Lyndon Johnson had a lot of fun at their expense on hunting trips, but those days are over and today, nobody's got a sense of humor, least of all the Secret Service. Fourth, you've got the media. We have freedom of expression in this country and that means that as President, you're going to be up to your eyeballs in other people's free expression. You've got your networks leaning to your left, you've got Fox News leaning to your right and you've got Oprah sitting on your lap. Then you've got your bloggers, millions of them, furiously punching away at their gummy keyboards in hopes that somebody, somewhere in cyberspace might actually read their nonsense and somehow take it seriously. And you're now the President so you can't tell any of them to just pound salt. Fifth (and this is a relatively new one), you've got the environment. Ok, the last guy bagged the Kyoto Protocols, but the new guy ran on a platform of correcting climate change, a hugely ambitious undertaking even assuming it's at all possible. Imagine getting the blame for every time somebody suspects the weather is screwed up. Of course, Al Gore is still looking for work so maybe he can be pressed into service doing something seemingly useful like, I don't know, convincing people climate change is still a vital issue even after we all went broke. Last, and most difficult, is the job itself. The Presidency carries with it at the same time enormous responsibility and surprisingly little authority. Consensus must be reached, compromises must be created and wisdom must prevail. This President has an historic opportunity to achieve greatness. We all, each of us, wish him well. Happy New Year. |
